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She almost didn't spend the money on herself: What nine weeks inside Thrive After 40 really looks like
- Sara Klute Behn
- May 12
- 4 min read
"I have zero regrets. I didn't feel like I should spend the money on myself, and it's 100% worth it. I probably would have spent more, knowing what I've gotten out of it."
— Amy, Thrive After 40 client
When Amy first reached out, she used a word I haven't forgotten: vortex.
That's how she described where she was. A vortex of lost confidence, mixed emotions about her career, unanswered questions about her health, and a deep sense of being stuck. She was also navigating an empty nest, a shifting professional identity, perimenopause, and grief she'd never fully given herself permission to sit with.
And on top of all of that, she almost didn't sign up because she didn't feel like she should spend the money on herself.
I'm so glad she did.
What she thought this would be
Amy came in with expectations shaped by what most wellness programs look like from the outside. She figured we'd talk about eating well. Sleep hygiene. Getting off her phone before bed. Practical stuff - useful, sure, but not exactly transformative.
What she found was something much wider in scope. Over the first nine weeks of our twelve weeks together, we looked at every piece of her life that was out of alignment: her daily habits (many of which she was running on complete autopilot), her nervous system, her self-talk, her relationship to her own emotions, and the massive identity shifts she was moving through all at once.
"Just looking at all the different pieces that make us who we are, and then pulling it together — that has been great," Amy shared.
The shift from unconscious to aware
One of the most powerful things Amy said was that before we started working together, she was "very unconscious" of her day-to-day habits. She wasn't making bad choices deliberately - she just wasn't making choices at all. Life was happening to her.
That changed. Not all at once, and not perfectly, but consistently. She started noticing how she was breathing when stress hit. How she was holding her body. Whether she was reaching for the cookie out of hunger or out of habit. She started using tools like box breathing. She started choosing better, one small decision at a time.
"I'm finding myself choosing better on a daily basis, and prioritizing myself, and it's making me feel more in control of my emotions."
That sense of control matters more than it might sound. When we're unconscious of our habits, we tend to experience our emotions as things that happen to us. When we start making intentional choices, even tiny ones, we start to feel like the author of our own days again.
The anxiety that quietly faded
In our early sessions, Amy's energy was visibly heightened. She was carrying a lot, and it showed. By week nine, she was calm. Genuinely, noticeably calm. She described it herself:
"The anxiety has tuned down because I've given myself permission to use the resources that have always been there. When you allow yourself to care for yourself, it really does help."
This is what happens when you stop trying to pour from an empty cup. It sounds like a cliché because it keeps being true. Amy wasn't lacking resources; she was lacking permission to use them. That's a different problem, and it has a different solution.
The identity piece nobody talks about enough
There's a particular kind of midlife overwhelm that doesn't get enough airtime. It's not one big thing. It's many things arriving at once - kids leaving home, career pivots, hormonal changes, relationships evolving, and sometimes grief that was never fully processed.
Amy was carrying all of it. And part of our work together was simply giving her language and space for the weight of it:
"Just giving yourself the ability to realize how many things have changed, and how many things you've gone through - those changes all add up, and they all take a toll."
She also said something that has stayed with me about grief - that it doesn't have to mean losing someone to death. You can grieve a career. A friendship. A version of yourself. Naming that gave her so much room to breathe.
What she'd tell someone on the fence
I asked Amy what she'd say to someone considering Thrive After 40 but not quite sure. Her answer was immediate:
"I have zero regrets. I didn't feel like I should spend the money on myself, and it's 100% worth it. I probably would have spent more, knowing what I've gotten out of it."
She also mentioned something worth underscoring: she went in with doubts. She wondered if it would really do anything for her. She pushed through her comfort zone, let herself be fully transparent, and showed up at 100%.
That's the part I can't do for you. But when you show up for it, I promise — this works.
Ready to start?
If any part of Amy's story sounds like where you are right now, I'd love to connect.
Thrive After 40 is a 12-week personalized program for women who are ready to stop running on empty and start building a life that actually fits who they are now, not who they used to be.
Email me, or use the link below to book a free discovery call. No pressure, just a real conversation.
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